帮我评论下我的雅思作文（用雅思的标准）,评分,评语,改正点,越细越好!If a five-year old commits a crime (any kind), should his/her parents have the responsibility and how punished? what is the age of a child when parents no

帮我评论下我的雅思作文（用雅思的标准）,评分,评语,改正点,越细越好!If a five-year old commits a crime (any kind), should his/her parents have the responsibility and how punished? what is the age of a child when parents no
帮我评论下我的雅思作文（用雅思的标准）,评分,评语,改正点,越细越好!
If a five-year old commits a crime (any kind), should his/her parents have the responsibility and how punished? what is the age of a child when parents no longer have the responsibility for children's behavior?(题目)
When a child about five years old do a crime,I consider his parents should have the responsibility.Children at this age was too young to understand which behavior is harmful and will hurt others.
As a parent(作为家长),we must look careful at our children and teach them which behaviors will hurt others,we also need to punish them when we found they made something wrong,due to their age was too young,the punishment which was violent should not be use,some punishments look like ban the child eat their favorite food a week or forbid them watch TV several days could be use for punish,it will bring them to recognize their wrong actions,the effect can be significantly and will not left any psychological shadow for them,on other hand,children is good at Imitate others(模仿他人),we should do correct actions in front of them all the time,it will contribute the children to develop correct behaviors.
When a child was get the age of eighteen,I deem we can no longer have the responsibility for children’s actions.Because they are old enough to understand which actions was right and which will made troubles.But we also have the responsibility to care of them,teach them how to deal with the problems they faced.

帮我评论下我的雅思作文（用雅思的标准）,评分,评语,改正点,越细越好!If a five-year old commits a crime (any kind), should his/her parents have the responsibility and how punished? what is the age of a child when parents no
5-5.5,绝对倒不了6分
没有任何理所当然的难词出现.
情态动词几乎没有,大量的出现了WILL.没有被动句（这是正宗的英语写作手法,在英文文章中大量存在）,其他高级点的语法知识几乎没有,都是基本小句子,衔接不好,不过内容看上去还能算是6分的素材,我看的都郁闷了~
有模版在里面,而且属于低级弱智模版（恕我直言）.
继续读范文,多学学被动时态,和高一点点的语法知识,例如现在完成时的被动时态·考前练习10篇,才有希望到6分,还要看点运气.
小作文更要谨慎,要争取6以上,不然,很难写作分数到6..
如果有别的郁闷的不懂的地方,

不错