英语二人幽默对话

英语二人幽默对话
英语二人幽默对话

英语二人幽默对话
One day,a village idiot won the first prize in the lottery(彩票).
“How did you guess the lucky number?” asked his neighbor.
“Well,three times,I dream of seven; so I figure it out that three times seven are twenty-four,and I bought the ticket with number 24 then I won the first prize.”
“Why,you blamed fool (你这个傻瓜!).Three times seven is twenty-one not twenty-four.”
“Is that so?” said the village idiot,Well,twenty-four won,anyway.”
经典对话一：
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?）
女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必,我我宁愿留下那些钱.)
经典对话二：
男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗?）
女：Why?Don’t you already have one?（为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?）
经典对话三：
男：I’m a photographer.I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师.我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸.）
女：I’m a plastic surgeon.I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生.我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸.）
经典对话四：
男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧?）
女：Yes,and this one will be if you sit down.（是的,如果你坐下,我的座位就是空的.）
经典对话五：
男：Haven’t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你?）
女：Yes.That’s why I don’t go there anymore.（是的.这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因.）
经典对话六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?）
女：Sorry.I’m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉.这个周末我头疼.）
经典对话七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐.）
女：Why?Are you leaving?（是吗?你是说你要离开?）
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell.As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...
Demon:Why so glum?chum?
Guy:What do you think?I'm in hell.
Demon:Hell's not so bad.We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man?
Guy:Sure,I love to drink.Love the drinks.
Demon:Well you're gonna love Mondays then.On?Mondays that's all we do is drink.Whiskey,tequila,Guinness,wine coolers,diet tab,and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy:Gee炉hat sounds great.
Demon:You a smoker?
Guy:You better believe it!Love the smoking.
Demon:Alright!You're gonna love Tuesdays.We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out.If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?
Guy:Wow...that's...awesome!
Demon:I bet you like to gamble.
Guy:Why?yes?as a matter of fact?I do.Love the gambling.
Demon:Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want.Craps,Blackjack,Roulette,Poker,Slots,whatever...If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.
Demon:牋 You into drugs?
Guy:Are you kidding?Love drugs!You don't mean...
Demon:That's right!Thursday is drug day.Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack.or smack.Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine.You can do all the drugs you want烬nd if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares!O.D.!
Guy:Yowza!I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!
Demon:You gay?
Guy:Uh?no.
Demon:Ooooh?(grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.

Woman：Hello, is that the police station?
Police：Yes.
Woman：Is it true you catch burglars（窃贼）？
Police：Yes, that’s right.
Woman：Could you catch one for me?
Police：Pardon?
Woman：I...

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Woman：Hello, is that the police station?
Police：Yes.
Woman：Is it true you catch burglars（窃贼）？
Police：Yes, that’s right.
Woman：Could you catch one for me?
Police：Pardon?
Woman：I haven’t got any keys and I don’t know how to get into my house.
妇女：你好，是警察局吗？
警察：是。
妇女：你们真的抓窃贼吗？
警察：是啊，当然。
妇女：你们能替我抓一个吗？
警察：你说什么？
妇女：我的钥匙丢了，不知道该怎么进家门。
更滑稽
A：You look very funny wearing that belt.
B：I would look even funnier if I didn’t wear it.
A：你系上这条皮带显得很滑稽。
B：如果我不系皮带会显得更滑稽。
答非所问
Tom：I was born in California.
Mary：Which part?
Tom：All of me.
汤姆：我出生于加利福尼亚州。
玛丽：哪一部分？
汤姆：全部。
为什么奔跑？
A：Why are all those people running?
B：They are running a race to get a cup.
A：Who will get the cup?
B：The person who wins.
A：Then why are all the others running?
A：为什么那些人拼命奔跑？
B：他们正在赛跑，为了夺得奖杯。
A：谁会夺得奖杯？
B：赢得比赛的那个人。
A：那其他人为什么还要奔跑？
Columbus's Telephone Number
哥伦布的电话号码
Little Mary: I find in my history book there is always such number (1451--1560)after the name Christopher Columbus. Would you please explain why, sir?
Little Rose: I can tell her, sir. It was Columbus's telephone number.
小玛丽：我在历史书中发现，克里斯托·哥伦布这个名字后老是
有(1451-1560)这几个数字，老师，请您给解释一下好吗？
小罗斯：老师，我能告诉她。那是哥伦布的电话号码。

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