一小时急求英语幽默对话!速度,一小时内给我答案,我再加50分内容要简短，一个人物在10句话左右， 只要一个，求质不求多 拜托啊，这是明天要作剧本的！！！！再5分钟，不然要关了，十万

一小时急求英语幽默对话!速度,一小时内给我答案,我再加50分内容要简短，一个人物在10句话左右， 只要一个，求质不求多 拜托啊，这是明天要作剧本的！！！！再5分钟，不然要关了，十万
一小时急求英语幽默对话!
速度,一小时内给我答案,我再加50分
内容要简短，一个人物在10句话左右， 只要一个，求质不求多 拜托啊，这是明天要作剧本的！！！！再5分钟，不然要关了，十万火急啊！！

一小时急求英语幽默对话!速度,一小时内给我答案,我再加50分内容要简短，一个人物在10句话左右， 只要一个，求质不求多 拜托啊，这是明天要作剧本的！！！！再5分钟，不然要关了，十万
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell.As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon...
Demon:Why so glum?chum?
Guy:What do you think?I'm in hell.
Demon:Hell's not so bad.We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man?
Guy:Sure,I love to drink.Love the drinks.
Demon:Well you're gonna love Mondays then.On?Mondays that's all we do is drink.Whiskey,tequila,Guinness,wine coolers,diet tab,and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy:Gee炉hat sounds great.
Demon:You a smoker?
Guy:You better believe it!Love the smoking.
Demon:Alright!You're gonna love Tuesdays.We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out.If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember?
Guy:Wow...that's...awesome!
Demon:I bet you like to gamble.
Guy:Why?yes?as a matter of fact?I do.Love the gambling.
Demon:Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want.Craps,Blackjack,Roulette,Poker,Slots,whatever...If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow.
Demon:牋 You into drugs?
Guy:Are you kidding?Love drugs!You don't mean...
Demon:That's right!Thursday is drug day.Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack.or smack.Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine.You can do all the drugs you want烬nd if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares!O.D.!
Guy:Yowza!I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!
Demon:You gay?
Guy:Uh?no.
Demon:Ooooh?(grimaces) you're really gonna hate Fridays.

要多少个?

Personal Hero
Our granddaughter's second-grade clas was asked to write about their personal heroes. Her father was flattered to find out that she had chosen him. "Why did you pick me?" he asked.
"Because I couldn't spell Arnold Schwarzenegger," she said.
注：那个名字是阿诺德.施瓦辛格

Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking.
Teacher: Peter！Tell us, what's the biggest in the world?
Peter: Well, well....eyelids....
Teacher: What？Eyelids？
Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world.

你找一段六人行看看吧，有的是这种东西

(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
Much Worse
Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. Tha...

全部展开

(单词翻译:双击或拖选)
Much Worse
Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
中文：
警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。
注释：
1、shout for help：呼救
2、rob of：抢劫
Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.
"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.
中文翻译：
“你相信人死后仍有生命吗？”老板问他的一个员工。
“是的，先生。”这个新员工回答说。
“哦，那么，这样说来一切就很正常了，” 老板继续说，“在你今早离开，去参加你奶奶的葬礼，她来看你了。”
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.
"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines."
"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着，其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。
“那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里，”它说。“那里太干净了！厨房没有一点污渍，地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净，整个地方都在发光。”
“请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗？”另一只蟑螂不悦地说。
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
老师：1809年发生了什么重大事件？
小威利：亚伯拉罕-林肯诞生。
老师：正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢？
小威利：亚伯拉罕-林肯过他的三周岁生日。
One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"
中文翻译：
一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，“我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?”那位农夫回答说，“时间对猪有什么意义？”
Very stupid robbers
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!"
The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"
两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧！”
第二个说：“但是我们现在在第13层啊！”第一个尖叫着回敬他：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信！”

收起